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TODAY (AND EVERY OTHER DAY)


Every year is the same. Every year we try to pretend it's nothing and then we just get one of those weeks that makes it impossible to hide our bad mood and disappointment. Every year we get fooled by those couple of bearable days in May that make us think we're actually normal, just like the rest of the world. But we're not. We'll always be miserable, annoyed and, of course, drunk - so we don't notice. Oh, I'm talking about the weather in London, obviously. I mean, people in Lisbon stopped wearing tights and coats a month ago. I just bought a freaking umbrella - Kill. Me. Now. Today is one of those days. Wait, did I just see someone wearing mini UGG boots on the tube?! Ok, please let me go back to bed.

(angry) M ❤️

2 June 2015 Comments

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LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS FEMINIST TREND


Everyone - thank the Lord, there is still one woman with sense out there.

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28 April 2015 Comments

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Men, at their most useless state

I've been thinking a lot about this subject and whether or not I should pick on the other species one more time. I just can't help it, can I?! They are such an easy target that spring my feminism levels right to the top. This one is about those men (in case you were still wondering who I was talking about) that decide to accompany their lovely wife/girlfriend/partner/sister/mum-for-Christ-sake to the shops. You know, when they go shopping. No, I don't mean food or furniture shopping. I mean actual clothes. Please tell me you've never noticed an inanimate soul standing in Zara, not looking at anything, not doing anything, just taking up OUR space. Yes, you have and yes, it is our space. Especially because they are always in our way, just when you need to pick that specific rail to get size 36 as 38 is way too big (you did start that diet so you will fit in that 36 no matter what!). There they are, huge, clumsy, knocking half of the hangers down and occupying an unmeasurable amount of space that you could be using to buy that perfect top that would change your life. I'm starting to sound like Rebecca Bloomwood from Confessions of a shopaholic, next step is to make up excuses not to pay my credit card bill. No, only joking.

Anyway, I've asked myself why this happens. And I can't help but blame women. Whyyyy on earth would you ask/let your man come browsing clothes with you?! Who would want such misery? You want their opinion? I can tell you right now they will say you look good in that slutty dress or bad in that skirt that looks like it came out of your grandmother's wardrobe. Or just the opposite, if he's the conservative (aka jealous!) type he will say that dress shows way too much skin and your mum wouldn't be proud. Here's me generalising as usual - I know there may be one or two exceptions that like (cough, pretend!) to have an opinion and are not that bad after all. But for these ones - they STILL take up some precious space that could be much better used; And they wander around the fitting rooms when I want to see myself in the big mirror outside, which is awkward (for him and for you!); And... it's just wrong.

The only thing they're good for is to carry our one-too-many bags - and for that, my friends, they can wait outside.

11 March 2014 2 Comments

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The Bling Ring = The Waste of Time

This Sunday was one of those useless days I sometimes love. Spent in front of the TV, eating really bad food while it was raining like crazy outside - standard England. So after some crappy series (Made in Chelsea's 1st episode of Season 6 included), decided to finally watch this (apparent) Hollywood Hit everyone was talking about a while ago.

To note I was quite excited to watch The Bling Ring. Well, give me LA, give me celebs, give me designer clothes and I'm happy. Especially when this is all combined with pretty girls partying around and all the girlie rom-coms like that. Starting on Pitch Perfect and ending on Mean Girls, I'm all over that. So imagine my surprise, after watching 10 minutes of this script-less, humour-less, reality-less thing turning into a massive disappointment. There's literally nothing. No story, no dialogues, no entertainment, no good characters, nothing! Other than the clothes they wear, post robbing Paris Hilton's mansion. After some digging and dismissing the 100 reviews that talk about how amazing Emma Watson is in it (?!! Couldn't disagree more...), found the perfect comment that pretty much summarises my opinion about this film:

"Her (Sofia Coppola's) movie turns out to be an even more airheaded version of Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers: a non-judgmental, over-repetitive, soulless account of dim-witted young people behaving badly. The good news is that most of Coppola’s movie, unlike Korine’s, is competently shot.  The bad news is that it’s even more of a wasted opportunity.", Daily Mail

Just.Perfect. Couldn't describe it better myself. My first thought was exactly "There can't be worse than the Spring Breakers...". In fact, Spring Breakers still wins as the most pointless film I've ever seen. And, totally agreeing with Daily Mail, it's terribly shot. It just doesn't make sense. A bunch of silly girls, running around in the same bikini the whole 94 minutes of film, slutting it around with the most disgusting guys out there. Well The Bling Ring is the rich version of it: a bunch of silly girls (and one very weird gay-or-not boy) running around in awesome designer clothes, slutting it around in fancy LA clubs. But don't forget the drugs part of it. Of course both have these girls disgracing themselves with lines of coke and bongs of weed.

What-a-waste-of-time.

21 October 2013 1 Comment

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Naked, the ugly juice

I've been given one of this precious bottles this morning on my way to work. The promoters were all very funny and loud - some of them screaming catchy phrases like "Get juicy, get naked" (!!!), the direct marketing strategies these days go above and beyond what I consider normal but anyways.


So they gave me this lovely bottle of Naked, apple, pineapple and kiwi juice smoothie that apparently - I was told as soon as I got to the office - costs around 3 pounds. I must say I'm not a massive fan of juices, let alone smoothies (hate thick drinks and you can stop right there with the dirty jokes!) but there are a couple of factors I take in consideration before I buy any kind of juice:

- Brand; We all know we care about brands whether we can afford it or not. Brand and presentation of the product.
- Price; For obvious reasons.
- Colour; Now this might be just me but doesn't everyone look at the colour of the juice before getting it? I mean, are you seriously going to buy some black s*** even if it says orange & mango on the label?!

Well I'm not. So here's my disappointment towards this thing. It's dark green, people. Not even dark green, it's grey. Grey like the water gets after mopping the floor! Grey like those disgusting smoothies girls take when they're on a diet! Why in hell would I want to drink that?! Especially when it has 255 calories + 52g sugars!!?

I'm shocked everyone is super fine with this so I had to post it. With the amount of money they are spending with this promotion (the guys are out there since 8 am, nonstop), could they not put some pounds aside to introduce a little food colouring and make it a tiny bit more appealing? Just saying...

14 October 2013 Comments

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