N.B. I start by saying I’m a hypocrite. I am and I admit it. Why? Because my boyfriend is the Beef and he goes against all the rules I state below. Well maybe not all, especially not the bracelets one, that would be the end. But I must say he’s in current training and it’s going well, with all the “Party Shirts” coming for approval first (don’t tell him that, he doesn't know. The trick is to make it sound like it’s all their idea…) and the track suit option being a marriage stopper. Give me time!
Found myself daydreaming about this today. As an obsessed-by-shopping person, I can’t help to notice every single piece of clothes everyone is wearing all the time. Especially in meetings, where there is only one person talking for most of the time and not always directly to you; and especially to the top of the body, as the rest is under the table. When I’m walking around the office, I definitely check out all the girls and pretty much know their wardrobes by heart. But in this case, I’m referring to men particularly.
Having worked in a corporate environment for the past 3 years, I've always thought men were super lucky without even realising it. Fair enough they can’t vary much from the grey/dark blue/black suit trousers and a shirt – debatable, you would always find an anomaly within the company that has some twisted concepts of a smart dress code. But if you look at it from another perspective, they are quite blessed. Why? Well –
- The majority of men in your company probably wear a track suit for most of the time they’re not in an actual suit. And you’re lucky if you can escape the slippers when at home;
- From the ones that don’t, about 70% are likely to have ugly clothes in general, including white trainers or pointy shoes at best;
- The other 30% (thinking I’m actually being generous here!) should be OK, although you can count with some random item every once and a while that makes you doubt if you’re potentially interested.
BUT. And because there is always a but, my point is: they are lucky because you don’t always know!! You can roughly work out their type but you don’t know which category they belong to if their dress code is quite plain to work. Example: If he doesn't know the word fashion or has any sense of style but doesn't want to look like a fool and is fairly clued up he will wear a black suit and white/blue shirt variations all the time. Now, how do you know?! You don’t. Especially when they are in a pack. It’s kind of the cheerleader effect, you see? All in a room, similar clothes, OK perfumes and you go: Wow! WRONG. Major mistake.
Now you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this. Well, there is a sign that can help you identify these dangerous species: the wrists. Weird? Not so much. Going back to the meeting room, where they are all sat down and you can only see the shirt and this might be an OK one, look at the wrists. There is no bigger turn-off than the “lucky bracelets”. Yes, those colourful ones we used to wear when we were 12, for good luck and happiness or whatever they sold us at the time. Whyyyyyy?! And why do they always have to come in a pack too? 1, 2, 3, they go crazy! Maybe thinking ‘oh who notices this?! It’s totally fine, it will probably be covered by the watch…’. Of course we notice! And of course you lose all your credibility!
And of course the HOT goes NOT, just like that…